02: How I Burned Out Doing What I Loved Most
And what was born from the experience
I spent most of 2023 exhaustedly weaving in and out of burnout.
It started, as it always does, with a sudden ping of inner knowing—a message from that intuitive, infinitely wise messenger within.
A realization that bubbled up into my consciousness one day that everything was not fine and dandy, actually, and hadn’t been for a while.
Maybe, just maybe, the fact that I would wrap up my work day, move directly from my desk to the couch, and proceed to spend the rest of evening fully horizontal with no energy or desire to make dinner, socialize, exercise, etc…wasn’t the best sign?
It sounds so obvious now, I know. But burnout can sneak up on you. It snuck up on me. It happened gradually enough that it didn’t hit me until it wasn’t just a few minutes of mindless scrolling to decompress anymore—it was the whole damn night.
And I say it was a sudden ping, but—again, hindsight is 20/20—there was likely a flurry of internal memos arriving for weeks. The quiet, subtle messages evolved into loud, urgent ones (probably in direct correlation to how much time I spent subconsciously ignoring them via the aforementioned couch-scrolling sessions) until the fateful day my internal guidance system finally said, “let’s hit her over the head with the message and see if she gets it this time.” Oops!
But also…how could I be burned out?! I was a health coach—the thing I had worked so hard to become and the career path I had wanted for so long. I had flexible hours, generous PTO and got to work from home. On paper, it was my dream job.
Maybe I was justified in being so tired all the time because I was just doing a really good job and giving it my all and helping lots of people…and it was actually normal to be this exhausted...right?
Well, turns out normal and healthy are different things.
I was going to bed each night already dreading waking up the next morning to log in and do it all over again.
Normal? Maybe.
Healthy? Nope.
Given the nature of this so-called dream job, and the stability that went along with it, it took me most of the year to to finally admit that even if I was burned out, I still needed to make a change. I needed to quit.
dun dun dun
Now, do I recognize that I was able to make that decision from a place of privilege? Absolutely. I am deeply grateful that my husband could temporarily hold more financial responsibility for our household, therefore allowing me to take a step back.
I was also terrified I wouldn’t find another job that was a better fit—and that fear alone made it feel nearly impossible to walk away.
So how did I finally make the call? Well, I coached myself through it, of course. And leaned heavily on support from loved ones. I’ll share more about that part of the story another time.
Because truly, at the end of the day, how can I show up for anyone else—family, friends, coaching clients—when I can’t even show up for myself?
Not to mention the fact that all of this was happening while I was still undiagnosed, and had yet to reckon with with any real understanding of my own neurotype or the accommodations and support I genuinely needed. Another (life-changing) chapter I’ll get to shortly.
So fast forward to April 2024, and I said buh bye to the cushy corporate coaching gig. I was equal parts relieved and and terrified (note the persistent trend of terror). But after coaching myself through it, I knew exactly what I wanted next. I’d been dreaming about it for years.
Now it was time to just…gulp…do it.
And that, reader, is how Sacred Vessels was born! Instead of searching for a new job that fit my long-term needs, I decided to create one.
Let’s circle back to the burnout for a minute though, because I know I’m not alone in this experience. A study from 2024 found that “44% of…U.S. employees feel burned out at work, 45% feel ‘emotionally drained’ from their work, and 51% feel ‘used up’ at the end of the workday.”
Talk about not alone! That’s about half of us, folks. Meaning there’s a 1 in 2 chance that you, my friend, are feeling these things too. And if not you, then probably your partner, your sister or your bff.
“44% of…U.S. employees feel burned out at work, 45% feel ‘emotionally drained’ from their work, and 51% feel ‘used up’ at the end of the workday.”
So WTF do we do about this? Great question, thank you for asking.
We start by figuring out what is actually within our sphere of control.
There will be fewer things in there than you want. I know. Annoying.
But then we start to work within that sphere.
My dream job became the root of my burnout through a potent cocktail of poor boundaries, unreasonable expectations and perfectionism. Lovely stuff.
For me, working with what was in my control meant ultimately recognizing that I had the ability to quit and to shape a new opportunity for myself, for my wellbeing and for a more sustainable future.
If I wanted to keep doing the work I loved, I had to do it a very different way.
Of course, not everyone can or wants to quit their job. Maybe, for you, working on what’s in your sphere of control looks like rethinking meal prep and how much energy goes into dinner every night.
Maybe it looks like taking the financial hit of hiring someone to clean your house so you can take at least one big task off your plate. Or sitting down with your partner to re-assess how household tasks are divvied up. There are so many possibilities!
The work is in the brainstorming and decision-making. And yes—the cognitive load of problem-solving, especially when you’re burned out, can feel extra tedious.
The good news? You don’t have to do it alone.
My own coach, Lacy, likes to say that hyper-independence and perfectionism travel together. Woof.
But in all seriousness—speaking from experience—having someone to trudge through the slog with you and stand by you as you do the work can feel like catching the first glimmer of the light at the end of the tunnel.
Consider me your glimmer of light ✨
Interested in learning more
about how personalized coaching can help you build the life of your dreams? Book a free curiosity call!
About the Author
Kaitlyn Carroll (she/her) is a National Board Certified Health and Wellness Coach and the founder of Sacred Vessels. She writes at the intersections of of science, spirituality and self-inquiry with radical honesty, curiosity and compassion.
This is the second essay in a 5-part manifesto series. Read the rest here:
